But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; they shall walk, and not faint.” (Isaiah 40: 31) We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed. We are perplexed but not driven to despair. (2 Corinthians 4:8 NLT)
Whatever we do on a daily basis, one key goal I believe you and I are certain to work towards is to focus on staying in control and keeping the right perspective on things. Whether it’s in our personal or professional lives, we make the plans ahead, and we have a pretty good idea of how we foresee the day ahead of us would go. Most days, everything go according to plan, right?. But then there are those unpredictable occasions where the whole world around you just seem to be falling apart and you are losing control of yourself. Not only that, you are lacking perspective. Already at a chaotic stage by then, you realize hey, something went terribly wrong.
Fear and anxiety tries to trick you into letting them take over and you are no more in a position to think rationally. You say all of the wrong things and you wonder where exactly did things begin to go out of order. Why did you not see the red flags before. Were there warning signs that you missed. Then there is the tendency to feel like a failure.
Initially, when things like that happened, I would ‘beat up’ on myself. I would immediately go into a shell and stay in that cocoon stage for days on end. I internalized everything. I used to think that I was the one to be blamed and that it was all my fault that things went wrong. It took me an awfully long time to understand that I needed to release the situation and give myself permission to not be ‘Miss perfect’ and to understand that everyone of us lose control and perspective at some point in time in our lives.
Now the thinking was that I had been fully ‘cured’ and I would be calm and keep my composure throughout no matter how bad what I faced got. I never anticipated my reaction to a certain work situation. I found myself in a weakened position, losing control of what I normally would have been my best at. The matter left me feeling insecure and vulnerable and I heard my own voice. It began to get louder and louder. It seemed no one wanted to be close to me by then, not even my own flesh and blood.
It reached to the point where I packed my bag and I walked away feeling pressed, troubled, crushed, perplexed and in despair. Quite the complete opposite of what Paul detailed for us in 2 Corinthians 4: 8 and the coaching and encouragement I had given to one of my family member just hours prior as to how to conduct herself in her own trial at her workplace.
The 7 things to do….
But I’ve had time to think about it all again and have found these to be the best approach in life for anyone who find themselves in a situation where it seems like your life is falling apart and you are losing control:
- Give yourself time out – stop whatever you are doing to re-group
- Quickly take responsibility for only that which you have direct control over.
- Give yourself time to make correction
- Never make decisions when you are in an emotional state of mind
- Forgive yourself and others without diminishing who you are
- Process and organize into your trusting system once again
- Pray and surrender the situation to God, then move forward – nothing happens in the first instance unless He allows it to.
Having done that, even though it may not be an absolute win win situation, it is one that will cause you to trust and believe again
Your turn now..
Have you even been in a situation where you felt like you were losing control and lacking perspective? What sort of emotions came out? What else can you add to the lis of things not to do? Share with us your experience.
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