Most people think that being overweight means just having some harmless extra pounds, but that’s not the whole picture. Besides having countless negative effects on the physical side of your body, excess weight is associated with multiple personality-related issues that can easily ruin a relationship, especially in the long run. In this article, I will try to outline some of them and illustrate why a “cute belly” isn’t the thing you’d want to have in your dating life.
First of all, let’s get this straight: no offence intended. By no means am I saying that all overweight people have serious personality issues or any other sort of pathologies. Rather than that, I’m suggesting that excess weight, in some cases, can either be the cause of such things, or the result of them. Such a possibility should be taken into account both when trying to resolve an excess weight problem and when thinking through the reasons behind an unsuccessful relationship as well.
Because excess weight is about not just the extra pounds, but the personality that let them appear in the first place. Let’s analyze the personal traits that have a good chance of being present in an overweight person (hopefully, that’s not your case). This will help to determine a specific approach towards each of these issues, allowing them to be solved more effectively.
- Lack of self-control.
Somehow, after reading these words we traditionally imagine someone that’s impulsive, emotional and able to start a ruckus over something hardly worth the drama. But there’s more to that. Self-control is strongly associated with the ability to endure and overcome one’s urges and addictions. Having extra weight may indicate incompetence in dealing with spontaneous desires, and this is a trait harmful to any possible relationships. I mean, today – a piece of cake after midnight, tomorrow – the girl/boy next door? Cheating won’t do well for any relationship, and is essentially based on lack of self-control. We all think about “someone else” from time to time – it’s in our blood, in our instincts, yet most of us do not let these thoughts become action, thanks to self-control.
- Lack of motivation and initiative.
Motivation is described as the driving force behind our determination to achieve results and live a better life. This is relevant to all the components of our being – physical self included. Throughout your life, ultimately you are the person that will always be by your side no matter what happens. Then, how is it possible to neglect your well-being and lack the need to ensure yourself a better life? Moreover, can one that’s not motivated to improve oneself be able to help his special one in their improvement? That’s hardly possible. It’s never pleasant to date a “meh” person, apathetic and boring. We always prefer the passionate ones, and as a matter of fact – their almost never overweight. That’s the magic of Motivation for you.
- Absence of determination.
And an almost complete one, at that. In the years past, loosing extra weight was possible only through regular and vigorous exercising, strict and exhausting dieting for months, restraining from most of word’s pleasures. But now things are so much different. Modern weight loss courses demand from the dieter as little as the determination to just start at all. Take the diet drops, for example. No need to sweat for hours in the gym, no need to follow killing diets, no need to buy a ton of shady pills. It’s just a single natural supplement that’s easy to take and useful not only for weight loss, but for your health in general. With easy options like that available to the general public, the lack of determination must be absolute to stay overweight.
- A flawed sense of responsibility.
Every human being is responsible for what he or she has in life. Successes and failures, good health and diseases, wealth and poverty – ultimately, they’re created and lead into our lives by our own allowance or will. Therefore, we are the only ones responsible for their very existence. If we’re overweight, can we deny the fact that we’re the ones to blame for that? A proper and strong sense of responsibility towards our bodies and lives won’t allow us to overeat, never will. And that actually counts for any “voluntary” harm we do to ourselves. Smoking, alcohol, drugs. They all indicate a certain level of irresponsibility, if you think about it.
Strongly related to each of the previous traits in this list, self-doubt is one of the most unpleasant – both for the victim of this feeling and for the people around. This is a part of a “vicious circle”: self-doubt often leads to overeating (as an easy source of pleasant feelings to support oneself through the dread of self-doubt), overeating leads to an increase in weight, and this eventually makes the feeling of self-doubt greater overtime, by (literally) enlarging the problem that’s one of the essential components of self-doubt: your body and appearance. The good thing in this matter is that you can break this circle from both sides – either get rid of your self-doubt (the fundamental problem) or of your extra weight (thus helping you to become more confident of yourself and eventually eliminate self-doubt)
As you see now, excess weight is not only about pounds and inches. One either must already have or be strongly inclined towards developing certain personality traits in the future. Of course, this is not a “rule” of some sort; I’m personally acquainted by a couple of overweight folks that are just fabulous people – confident, witty, immensely motivated, highly creative and more responsible than anyone else I met in my life. Sadly, that’s still an exception from the general rule.
So, what’s the obvious solution?
That’s right: start losing weight for good. The personal traits described above are perceived at an unconscious level by the people surrounding you, so if you’re overweight – be sure that that’s how you’re perceived in public, generally. Therefore, it’s necessary to either compensate this public perception by showing off a GREAT personality with countless positive traits, or… Well, just lose weight and be yourself. The GREAT human being that you’ve always been, but now – without the extra pounds burden.
Usually, fit people that look pleasant tend to achieve more in life – thanks both to the personal traits that they’ve got and the aura surrounding their every action, every step. You wouldn’t want your aura to be of the kind described in the list above, would you?
Then, my friend, it’s time to dig out those running shoes from the millennial dirt of oblivion and start doing something on the matter. Start visiting a gym, jog in the morning, go to the swimming pool if you’re more like it, talk with a physician, try out a dietary supplement – the options are countless.
You just need to start. Good luck!
Dear friends, I pray that you may enjoy good health and that all may go well with you, even as your soul is getting along well. ~ 3 John 2
This article was contributed to Empowerment Moments Blog by guest author Gracy Liura of New Delhi, India