3 Irrefutable Ways To Boost Your Confidence
We all have our own perspective, opinions and ideas that comes as a result of our individual experiences. Those experiences can be the result of past hardships and difficulties, our environment, the culture we grew up in, social media which, to a large extent, has been very influential in shaping some of our behaviors.
As much as I hate to admit it, approximately three year ago, I suffered from a bout of low self esteem. Added to that, I was depressed. While I do not advocate self-diagnosing, me being in the health and medical industry all of my work life, I knew all too well the symptoms associated with such.
I was persistently sad and at times anxious. My energy level was often low and I had difficulty concentrating on certain key things and areas of my life and ministry.
I masked everything I was experiencing. I was good at it. Overtime, I trained myself to suck things up and to stuff my feelings down and try harder the next time. On a deeper level, I was really afraid of rejection and abandonment – the very things that have plagued me most of my life.
Additionally, I lacked confidence in myself and that made me feel worthless. I no longer believed in myself and I lacked the motivation to do the things I needed to do. I felt let down by loved ones and persons I considered to be friends.
I was giving everything I could to my blog. Not long after, I lost the zeal and the passion I had for it. I would soon park it [June 2017 to July 2018] and wanted nothing more to do with it.
“Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising up every time we fall.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
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I was pouring into the lives of others through my ministry, yet all the while I was hurting and bleeding on the inside – a wounded kingdom warrior on the frontline preaching.
The experiences from two history making, unprecedented hurricanes of Irma and Maria in September 2017 did not make life any easier then. I will never forget how close I had come to dying as I looked death in its face as it edged closer to me. But through it all, I testify how God is gracious and merciful! I have witnessed His hands move in my life as death compassed me about.
It is a bit of a sweet moment as I pen this post. Truly the ways of the Lord are perfect.
“The Lord will perfect that which concerns me; Your mercy, O Lord, endures forever; Do not forsake the works of your hands.” – Psalm 138:8 NKJV
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The Shocking Self-confidence Test Result
Interestingly, my score after taking a self-confidence test taken with liveboldandbloom.com while still in my valley moment was 36 out of 40 points. There was a total of ten questions to answer. Of the 10 questions with A, B, C or D answers to choose from – for 6 questions I selected A and the other four questions I selected B as my best choice of answer. To summarize, my level of confidence follows:
“You have an average to high degree of self-confidence. You feel good about yourself and about your intelligence and ability to succeed. You feel optimistic about the future. You are comfortable in social settings and when meeting new people. You have a healthy attitude about your appearance, and you are able to take risks and move past life difficulties without much trouble. You have strong positive relationships and generally feel comfortable in your own skin.”
Say what? That was a lesson for me. I concluded that we can spend so much time being compliant and accommodating to all the things that are going on in the natural, that we miss the opportunity to see and hear what God is saying about us in the spiritual. God also showed me that the voice of reason has the propensity to be misleading and that it succumbs to the flesh into believing that no one else cares about you or the bad experiences that you are having.
But whether you are going through a season of low self-esteem or a phase of low self-confidence, it is important to be equipped with the necessary tools and a plan to recalibrate your thought and mind so you can now live in harmony, peace and joy, firstly with God our Heavenly Father and then with yourself.
Ways To Grow Self-esteem & Build Your Self-Confidence
If you have ever been in the pit of low self-confidence and felt the sting of failure and inadequacy like I did, your only thought was that you be left alone for a while so you can wallow in self-pity and misery a bit longer. In the back of your mind you are thinking that your dreams, plans, purpose and your destiny were given a life sentence.
What a predicament this must have been for Moses and Jeremiah with first-hand experiences with low self-confidence. Both were called by God to go forth with messages to God’s people and both of them committed themselves to a death sentence to the plan and will of God for their lives, until that is, God showed them otherwise.
But Moses pleaded with the Lord, “O Lord, I’m not very good with words. I never have been, and I’m not now, even though you have spoken to me. I get tongue-tied, and my words get tangled.” Then the Lord asked Moses, “Who makes a person’s mouth? Who decides whether people speak or do not speak, hear or do not hear, see or do not see? Is it not I, the Lord? Now go! I will be with you as you speak, and I will instruct you in what to say.” ~ Exodus 4:10-12 NLT
Then I said, “Ah, Lord God! Behold, I do not know how to speak, for I am only a youth.” But the Lord said to to me, “Do not say, “I am only a youth, for to all whom I send you, you shall go, and whatever I command you, you shall speak. Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you to deliver you, declares the Lord” ~ Jeremiah l:6-8 ESV
Sooner rather than later, you have to get up and face your fears. It is necessary for you to face the world and open yourself up once again for some glimmer of light and hope to shine in that would help you to find your way in life again. It is a natural human response that after real or perceived failure you will shell-shocked and insecure. But life must go on and you must move past everything that hindered you in the first instance.
“No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation, he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.” ~ 1 Corinthians 10:13 ESV
So where do you start?
Dust off and pick yourself up
In order to start running again the race that is set before you, the first thing you must do is dust off and get back up on your feet. Briefly take a look at the past or what got you into the bottom of the pit of low self-confidence and find the positives and the nuggets of information that you can use towards your personal growth going forward. Quit looking at the outward and what you can see with your natural eyes and look inward to where your strength really is. Moses had to surrender his will to God to correct his shortcomings of not only a stuttering tongue but the fear of rejection. You may not speak with a stutter but whatever the evidence or source of your fear or failure, you must willingly give it to God in exchange for His strength and confidence.
“I can do all things through him who strengthens me.” ~ Philippians 4:13
Invest in yourself and build your skills
One of the easiest and certainly the most overlooked ways to boost your confidence is to invest in yourself, that is, sign up for some courses, do research, read up on what others have to say about your area of expertise which ultimately will help you to build and later on, master your skills. Network and align yourself with other people who are known to be successful at what you are endeavoring to master. Set your own standard and keep working on those areas that would help you to build a secure safety net for yourself with the likelihood of success you are trying to achieve the next time around.
“Study [be diligent] to show thyself approved [certified] unto God, a workman that need not be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.” ~ 2 Timothy 2:15 KJV
Confront your fears
“For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” ~ 2 Timothy 1:7 KJV
It is clear that God did not give you or anyone of us a spirit that makes us cowards. He gave a spirit of boldness and confidence to do what He created you to do. If you allow your fears to have control of your life, your self-confidence will continue to be harnessed to it and ultimately you can be pushed back into a place of low self-confidence.
On the other hand, as your confidence level builds up, gradually begin to do the things that will stretch your capacity to build a sustainable support system. Get yourself a coach or an accountability partner to challenge, support and encourage you every step of the way. Lean into and confront your fears. At the same time move with caution as you treat them as a natural response to failure or you having to face the unknown.
My greatest fears all along were fear of rejection and abandonment but I am happy to say that I have given those things over to God. I believe His word and I now realize that nothing is off limit to me. I can do whatever I want to do as He gives me the strength to do so. My hopes, dreams and aspirations while for a little while delayed, were never denied by God. God is a limitless God!
Final thoughts
It is time that you too draw from your inner, higher self – the one that knows you to be a strong-willed individual and one of great faith to be in control. Always remember that you have the power to turn things around in your life. Your potential is limitless!
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