Guest Post by Shivonne A. Wilson
We find ourselves being hated by many; however, becoming more informed of what determines a hater and how to best handle hateful situations can lead to an improved lifestyle. According to yourdictionary.com, a hater can be defined as a slang term used to describe someone who is negative and greatly dislikes a person or something.
Persons who have experienced hatred from others may ask themselves, “Why me? What have I done? Why are they so concerned? Isn’t it my life? Aren’t there more important things to do?” Truth is, they would rather spend their time and energy being consumed with you. For these individuals, having frequent conversations about someone’s life, stalking Facebook pages, posting hateful, unnecessary status and comments becomes their job, their momentary sense of purpose and achievement in life.
FACTS ABOUT HATERS
The lowest of them stoop to hacking Facebook and Twitter accounts, sending nasty hateful messages or even creating fake accounts in order to spill someone’s business. It’s like you becoming a secret celebrity in their corrupted minds. Sounds unreal huh? But it’s true!
And perhaps, maybe we should have a little pity for them. Your haters have come to the realization that their life isn’t as exciting as yours, so they become angry and then their anger turns into jealousy. They know that life can be unfair, and you may be able to do things they can’t. They desire what you have but just don’t know how to achieve it for themselves. Sometimes it may not be material things but the amazing qualities and attributes that people most often enjoy about you.
So when your hater can’t figure out why they lack the things they lack, they turn into angry individuals who would do anything to see you unhappy. They want to pull you down to their level of unhappiness. They want you to be disturbed and not have peace. If they can’t enjoy their life, they make sure you can’t enjoy yours too. It’s their way of coping with their frustration of their own life.
Now that you have gained a little information on your haters, here are four effective ways to overcome your haters hate.
WAYS TO OVERCOME HATERS/HATRED
1.) Ignore them – You first have to understand that your haters seek attention and they are most afraid of silence. Realize that ignoring them means you are winning and it will only drive them ‘crazy.’ You can’t give your attention to the negative things people say about you because if you think about it too much, you will find yourself believing what they say about you. What they say about you is no value to your life!
2.) Never retaliate – If you retaliate, you’re giving them what they want, and they don’t deserve your time and energy. Don’t try to think of a comeback to embarrass them. In the end, haters always manage to embarrass themselves without any help. Responding with nasty words will only bring you down to their level, and that’s not cute.
3.) Just be you – Not everyone will like you, and the quicker you accept that, the quicker you’ll be on the road to accomplish more. When you’re walking on eggshells trying to please everyone, it’s impossible to be the best you can be. Forget that. Be you and love it!
4.) Accept it – Sometimes people may have a hard time distinguishing between a constructive criticism and pure ‘hater-ation.’ If you look at it, sometimes there may be a hint of truth in what people say about you. If this is the case then use that criticism to make improvements. Consider their words and if you find it’s just negativity, then again ignore it.
MY FINAL THOUGHTS
I conclude by saying that haters are going to hate no matter what. There is nothing in this world you can do to change that. It’s their job. The best way you can deal with it, is to love your life to the best of your ability. Remember that hatred does not cease by hatred, but only by love. Forgive them. When you see them, smile! Deal with haters in a way that you’ll be proud of later. Focus your time and energy on something productive.
Have you ever had someone stalk you or simply just hate on you? How did you handle that situation? What sort of emotions did the constant hating evoke in you? Leave a comment below and share your thoughts below.
photo 1 source: Subharnab Majumdar
About author: Shivonne is currently pursuing an Associates Degree in Business Administration at that Hamilton Lavity Stoutt Community College (HLSCC) in the Virgin Islands. Upon completion in 2015, her goal is to further her studies this time with a concentration in Business Accounting.