“There are many devices in a man’s heart; nevertheless the counsel of the Lord, that shall stand.” ~ Proverbs 19:21 KJV
Has it ever crossed your mind why some people are always so critical of others no matter what good the individual has done? They say very mean and derogatory things about people constantly without thinking twice about how their mean spiritedness towards the other person will affect their feelings.
Some folks just seem to get pleasure in ‘throwing others under the bus.’ It is an unfortunate flaw that some persons have that ever so often they are compelled to disparage [to bring approach, belittle, discredit] others
It is important for us to realize that there will always be differences between us – our culture, ideas, and even the way we go about doing things to achieve a common goal. That however does not justify being argumentative and angry at another person for expressing an idea or strategy that is different from the one you hold.
I read an article recently and it really cut through the core of my heart. It hurt my feelings even though it was not me being criticized. I don’t know President Obama or the Clinton’s personally [even though I would love to meet them some day] but the constant criticism and the bashing has reached an unprecedented high level.
They are constantly under public scrutiny especially now during the presidential campaign. There is not one day you can turn on your TV or read a paper and not get some negative vibes. And sadly, people are less than willing to forgive them for things that have taken place many years ago.
Yes, I know fully well they are not the only ones. And, lest I be rebuked, my goal here is not to finger point anyone but by reason of the way we are all connected and the domino effect of how one thing affects the other, we ought to make a conscious effort in choosing what we say and how we are spending our time on a daily basis.
We need to examine ourselves and ask ourselves the question, “am I contributing to society in a positive way by building and lifting another up, bearing each others burdens and helping to heal, or are my contributions negative, cynical and critical where I am tearing down others?”
Why You Should Not Be So Critical of Others
Whenever you engage in the act of criticism you are literally passing severe judgement, censoring and fault-finding with someone else. There are harmful effects involved. Here are reasons why you should not be so critical of another person:
Contrary to biblical principles
God’s word is clear that we should not judge others. [Matthew 7:1] We are also told that the true mark of Christianity or disciples of Christ is that we have love one for another, [John 13:35] even those considered to be enemies – wherein that love of Christ in our heart will cover a multitude of faults we find in each other.
What is so sad though is that our society has become one where there is so much censuring, reviling and detracting of others.
The bible says, “If anyone among you thinks he is religious [know everything, do no wrong] and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his own heart, this one’s religion is useless.” ~ James 1:26 NKJV
In other words, when we hear people ready to speak of the fault of others, to censure them as holding some unseemly mistake/wrong, lessen the wisdom of those around them, so that they themselves may seem wiser and better, it is a sign they have a vain religion.
God wants us to have a humble and gracious heart and not to delight in injuring his neighbor while pretending to love God.
Destructive negative energy
You may not be aware of it but criticism is a destructive, negative force that when it comes from you it has the power to cause wounds, hurt and pain to another. In the process you impact or you interfere with another’s self-worth and their self-esteem.
The bible says, “Judge [criticize] not, that you be not judged. v2 For with what judgement you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you. v3 And why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye?” ~ Matthew 7:1-3 NKJV
The seeds that you sow [the words you speak or your deeds and actions] the fruit of it will be returned to you. The negative energy you give out [to hurt someone else], it will eventually come back to you. Everyone makes mistake in life but by the same vein, you don’t have it all together either.
The fault you find with others is magnifying your own issue/struggle
Too many go around with a false sense of ‘being’ and ‘knowing.’ And lashing out at someone else in a negative way is nothing more than an unhealthy defense mechanism that mask the very thing that you are struggling with.
In a Harvard Business Review article ‘Why Are Some People So Critical?’ the author Steven Berglas alluded to the fact that harsh critics suffer from a disorder known as “If You Spot It, You Got It.” [IYSIYGI] He further said that IYSIYGI behavior is one that psychologists call projection or a “psychological defense mechanism that enables a person to deny their own issues by attributing those traits to others.”
“Arguably, the worse thing IYSIYGI critics do is metaphorically curse the darkness while refusing to light a candle.” ~ Steven Berglas
Chiding, judging or criticizing someone may give you a sense of feeling powerful but the best thing you can do is to forgive others and confess your own fault so that you may get deliverance from the spirit of criticism. The more patient you are with others and their flaws, the more grace that God will give to you to get over yours.
“Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.” ~ James 5:16 ESV
In the final analysis:
As time goes by we would all come to realize that we are different in more ways than one and what makes humanity so special is that we each have our own creative ideas, hopes, dreams and aspirations. We will not agree on everything but one thing we try to do is to have love one for another. The world will then know that we are indeed Christ’s disciples.