Feeding the Seeds of Discontent
By Kalley C [Kalendy M. B. Chiu]
A few weeks ago, my husband shared a conversation he had with another husband and father. You see, this gentleman always looked at my husband and wondered how he does what he does.
He wondered how can a family survive on one income, two children, a wife that stays home, and home school. Aside from thinking that we were crazy, he wondered how can we manage all the things that do.
Our setup was his ideal.
In the meantime, my husband was wondering how he does everything he do. Since both parents work outside of the home, there must be enough wiggle room for expenses.
His setup looked so much better than ours-or so it seems.
But as Mr. C and the other gentleman began to talk, they removed their misconceptions of each other lives.
They both talked about their setup, what they thought the other person had, and why they thought it was so much better.
After they shared the truth with one another, they both walked away content with their current situation.
You see, they both thought each other grass was greener. They both thought that the other one was doing it better and living it up.
That perception couldn’t be farther from the truth!
When we feed the seeds of discontent by thinking other people’s lives are better, we are saying to ourselves that there is something wrong with how we’re living. We start to doubt our purpose and path in life.
When we look at another person’s success, we only see the end results, but we don’t see what they have done to get there.
The times we start to think like this, we must remind ourselves: no one’s grass is truly greener.
All of our experiences are unique, and we all have a season to shine. This is hard to remember at times, and we find ourselves comparing our lives. We begin to wish for something different.
You know how the saying goes: When you look for problems, you’ll find them.
It’s hard to remind ourselves that we don’t know the other person’s whole story. With social media today, we can see how “perfect” other people lives are on feeds, and everything that they are doing and “winning” at.
At the same time, we look at ourselves and see everything that we not achieving.
To fight the feelings of discontent, here is what I do:
Pray. I pray the Lord’s Prayer. When I say, “Thy will be done…” I internalize those words. I can want something, but God understand when it’s a time for me to have it or not to have it at all. When I go against His will, it will be an up hill battle. When I work on God’s time, everything falls into place.
Remind myself of my goals and the direction of my family. Is what I want in line what my family needs. Is it in line with the goals of my marriage. Who will I be serving if I follow that path?
Disconnect, and find my balance once again. When we are always engaged with our surroundings, we sometimes become part of it. We end up following trends of the crowd instead of walking to our rhythm. When I get like this, I disengage, and I come back when I’m ready to handle this perceived pressure.
Remember: a person’s grass may be greener than yours, but you don’t know what they had to do, and what they put in that grass, to get it so green.
We must tend to our garden instead.
Kalley is a writer, thinker, wife, mother and everything rolled into one. She writes about life, family, faith, love and anything else that makes her sane. But most importantly, she writes about her journey to know herself better. You can find out more about her over at Blogging While Nursing Follow on Facebook // Twitter // Pinterest For more of Kalley’s post on EMB, go HERE
thank you , thank you , thank you for this post..its just what I needed to read
You are very welcome Julie 🙂 Sometimes, all we need is the reminder. I hope you have a great week.
Yes! Nodding my head while I was reading your comment. Yes, it’s true. The feeling of discontent or lack has caused many of the things you mentioned–bullying, murder, theft, even destruction of property. We’ve even had this happen to us when we bought a new car, and one month later, someone decided to key it! Mr. C was livid, but the only thing I can say to him was that the car was still new, and the person who did it was just jealous– but it still hurt! We had worked hard for our car.
These feelings (dare I say it– jealousy) happens all the time in the blogsphere! We can look at a person’s comment numbers and wonder why don’t we have those numbers on our own blog. I think this happens to the best of us, but what we do when we start to think like this is the real testing ground.
We can wallow in discontent, or we admit to ourselves that the other blogger could have done things to get themselves that exposure (link ups, quality content, engagement etc). These things rarely happen in a vacuum!
As for the person who stole your content, I’m so upset that it happened. I think you did the right thing in contacting them, to at least give you proper credit for your blog post instead of just taking it as their own work. That was a great article to read, and I’ve even shared it among family.
Hi Kalley I really enjoyed this post. I endorse it! It’s a great discussion based on all that is happening around us in these end times. I can also envision how feeding the seeds of discontentment have resulted in some criminal activities that have taken place such as theft, bullying and even murder.
There are those who someone think that you are doing better than they are and they devise plans of how to get it from you not realizing that their perception about the person was so wrong. This can also be applied to those of us here in blogosphere..when we look at how many followers someone else has, or how many comments they get on their posts etc and deep within that person is thinking, that should have been me or how can I get what that person has..Such thoughts are in fact feeding the feelings of discontentment.
For example in my case, just 2 weeks ago I wrote an article entitled “8 Things You Must Stop Believing In Order To Move Forward’ https://empowermentmomentsblog.com/2014/03/25/8-things-to-stop-believing-so-you-can-move-forward/ Three days later, a certain individual took my entire post word for word and post it on their blog and signed their name at the bottom to say it was their writing and did not even have the courtesy to attribute it to me/or my blog with a link.
What did I do? I contacted the person and kindly asked them to do the right thing or remove my post entirely from their blog.
But to break that cycle, I agree that praying has to be a big part of the plan, disconnect so one can find that balance again and also, keep reminding ourselves of the goals that was set out in the beginning. Great column!
Great post! I am always beside myself when people can just sit back and make assumptions about how well they think someone else is doing..for the most part it is really not the way they even perceive it to be. Still we must all endeavor to do the best that we can to fight off those feelings of discontentment and if I may add [jealousy] and put into action these ideas that you have shared.
I’m glad that you mentioned jealousy, because sometimes, feeling discontent comes from jealously. Great observation! With all that we “see” of one another, we do forget that we’re not getting the whole picture, because of this we end up making things up that seems better than our own lives (even when they really aren’t).