In the Eyes of a Child, Fear or Faith?

We are constantly told that our miracles will come by faith and through faith we will be delivered. Indeed all the miracles that Jesus performed while on earth were possible because of the faith of the recipients. One such example is found in Matthew 15:21-28. There was a Gentile woman of Canaan who followed Jesus around begging him to have mercy on her and to heal her child.

Even though the disciples tried to chase her away because the Jews and gentiles were not friends, she persistently followed them everywhere they went. Finally, the Lord had compassion on her and said to her, “O woman, great is your faith! Let it be to you as you desire.” And her daughter was healed that very hour.

The woman believed in the healing power of Christ so much that she was willing to humble herself and suffer embarrassment so that her daughter could receive her miracle. How many of us are willing to do this?

Faith is believing – The Journey To My Miracle

Faith is believing without seeing any physical evidence. Every one of us are given a measure of faith by God which is enough to remove a mountain. However, the spirit of fear can cloud your mind and blind your eyes so that you cannot see or think clearly. You can be so overcome by fear that you fall into denial and pretend it is faith.

At approximately six weeks of age my son was diagnosed with a congenital heart disease called Left Hypoplastic Heart Syndrome along with many other complications of the heart. It is a disease where the left ventricle of the heart is not developed so in its place is a mass of muscle. He also had Ventricular Septal Defect, Overriding Aorta, Pulmonary Atresia, Dextra Cardia, Incompetent Valve and Atrial Septal Defect.

I remembered when the Cardiologist was reciting all the complications of my new born baby’s heart that I became so overwhelmed, that I let out a horrific scream and ran from the room. That was the beginning of my many heartaches and trials. That was also the day when the spirit of fear attached itself to me but I was unaware of this at the time.

My husband and I were told that our son would need surgery before he was one year old or else he would not survive. The longer he waited to have surgery is the greater his chance of acquiring pulmonary hypertension (high blood pressure in the lungs) which is a contraindication to heart surgery.

My husband immediately decided against all surgical interventions because he said that God would miraculously heal our son. I was in denial at the time so I agreed with his decisions. As the years past, our son became weaker, bluer and more breathless. He was undernourished because his body was not getting enough oxygen. In-spite of all his ailments our son was very enthusiastic about life and he wanted to participate in every event at school. He did not want to feel left out. We tried to get him involved in as much activities as possible by physically carrying him around at school and home.

In 2006, he was diagnosed with a brain abscess which almost killed him if it was not for the direct intervention from God. He had two surgeries to drain the abscess in his head and spent two months in the hospital in Puerto Rico.

It was during his cardiac clinic at the cardiovascular center in Puerto Rico that the cardiologist introduced us to surgery once more. However we continued to refuse medical intervention and choosing instead to wait on God for supernatural healing.

As the years past when there was no miracle from God we became frustrated and began to blame each other that our faith was not strong enough. The weaker our son became the more we quarreled and the further apart we became.

Finally in 2008, I became so deeply distressed with the situation that I decided to go on a fast for two weeks. I was determined to get an answer from the Lord. At the end of the fast, I received one word from the Lord – Fear.

For the Lord has not given us the spirit of fear but of love, power and a sound mind (2 Timothy 1:7).

Immediately I had the sense to recognize that fear was tormenting our minds and had us under bondage. Our determination not to do surgery was as a result of fear and not faith. We were afraid that he would die during surgery. I immediately drove the spirit of fear out of my life and cooperated with the doctors to do all the necessary tests leading up to the surgery. That was my ‘kiros’ moment.

Our son was ten years old when he had surgery. God miraculously kept him from developing complications that would prevent him from having the surgery. The Lord waited for me to recognize my weaknesses and submit to his authority and then he healed my son through medical intervention. He then restored all the years that the enemy had taken from him.

The following poem is a summary of my testimony of how God delivered me from fear and my son deliverance from two life threatening diseases. Since God is God, let him be God.

God Cares

I looked into the eyes of a child writhing in pain

From an abscess so huge it shifted his brain.

His eyes begged for release – a freedom from his suffering.

My heart yearned to absorb his pain but

The impossibility cause by my mortality rendered me useless;

So I cried unto the Lord, “Lord, Do you care?”

And he replied, “Yes I care.”

 

I looked into the eyes of a child weak and breathless

From a heart so deformed,

It was pumped solely by the hands of God.

His body frail and blue, his skin clung tightly to his bones.

He had no strength; he had no energy.

His flesh was wasting away but his eyes pleaded for a chance:

An opportunity to live, to run and play as his peers.

 

I looked into the eyes of a child pleading for life.

They said, “Mommy please let me live until I am old.

Let me live so that I can fly planes in the sky and be as free as a bird.

Let me live so that I can marry and produce children to bear my name.

Let me live Mummy, Please I choose life.”

 

I looked into the eyes of this child filled with so much pain and hope.

They yearned for answers but when I looked at myself

I see only dust and my heart broke in pieces.

His solution was beyond my human capacity.

So I looked to the hills and I cried,

“Lord you must care! You have to care!”

 

‘In my distress I called on God and cried unto my God;

And he heard my voice out of his temple;

And my cry came before him, even to his ears; (Psalms 18:6).

Then my Lord replied, “Yes I care but you must first release your fear.

The spirit of fear binds your body and soul leaving

You tormented and trapped into a cage called paralysis.

 

My eyes became enlightened and I rebuked the spirit of fear

And surrendered all to the One who created all – the Almighty.

“Into your hands I commit this child.

You are in charge and you do unto him according to your glory.

After all he was your child first before you lend him to me.”

 

‘As for God, his ways are perfect.

The word of the Lord is proven;

He is a shield to all who trust in him.

For who is God, except the Lord?

And who is a rock except our God?

It is God, who armed me with strength,

And made my way perfect.

He made my feet like the feet of Deer,

And set me on high places’ (Psalms 18:30-33)

 

‘He taught my hands to war,

So that I could bend a bow of bronze,

(And conquered the spirit of fear).

“You O’ Lord has also given me the shield of your salvation;

Your right hand has held us up

(Throughout all the agonies of surgery and recovery);

Your gentleness has made me great.

You enlarged my path under me,

So that my feet did not slip’ (Psalms 18:34-36)

 

He brought us to the banquet hall – the hall of restoration-

And his banner over us is love. (Solomon 2:4)

Oh yes! God cares!

I know my Redeemer lives and he cares for us.

Beverly Wright

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