One of the key responsibilities of parents is to teach their children the very important lessons in life. This should never be taken for granted. By all means the environment must be created and be conducive for the learning to take place. In addition to the environment being safe, whatever the child is taught, it must be something the parent is willing to follow.
Research has shown that even as a newborn while a child cannot yet speak your language, s/he is a fast learner and is already capable of understanding what you are saying. That is why it is important to say the right things – both positive and affirming.
We know a mother’s role is huge but I believe that fathers have an even greater responsibility to instill the right values, morals, principles, good habits into a child and to say the key phrases and sentences that not only encourage children’s obedience but help them to build confidence in themselves as they go through life.
What are the things that every daughter need to hear from her father?
I am thinking about Father’s Day already which will be observed on June 19th 2016. It is a good place for a father to start with his daughter to say the things that will enable her to become smart, powerful and confident as she grow and develop into a woman.
1. “I love you unconditionally”
I cannot emphasize this enough that a daughter needs to hear these words from her father every day of her life. Not only should she hear you say “I love you unconditionally” but equally you follow with the action to demonstrate to her the depth of your love. Your love and affection are the most reassuring things to your daughter.
2. “I am there for you”
A child needs to know that you are there for her and that she has your shoulders to lean on. Just knowing that she can count on you to be there for her, she is not afraid to step out and take risks or to face the challenges that often present themselves in life. Saying “I am there for you” is a great antidote for negative behavior such as low self-esteem, low self-confidence, fear, doubt and anxiety.
3. “I am very proud of you”
Never underestimate the power of these words and for your daughter to hear you say them to her. Sometimes you may forget to say them but it is very critical for her to know that. Pat her on the back and let her know she has done a great job when she did her chores, and that you are proud of her for her grades in school. Praise good behavior more than you point out the bad. Children hear so much negative, condemning and judgemental words, it is time they hear, “I am very proud of you.”
4. “Never settle for less than you deserve”
You don’t get what you deserve, you only get what you settle for. Therefore, teach your daughter the look and feel of value and that she should never be in a rush to settle for the first job or first boyfriend that comes her way. Patience is a virtue and when your child is taught the meaning of patience, the right opportunities and the right people who will bring value to her life will gravitate towards her. Don’t be a ‘yes’ father for everything that she asks you for which places her at a disadvantage of learning how to wait. It’s good to say, ‘no’ sometimes.
5. “Don’t give up!”
Life is not a bed of roses and therefore a child need to know that they will face challenges and at times will meet obstacles. This is where you teach your daughter/s the importance of perseverance and patience in order for them to meet their goals. Encourage her not to ever give up but to keep on trying until she makes it.
6. Go after your dream
Encourage your daughter to dream – to dream her best dream then wake up and give life to it, to make it happen. The world is broken and on many occasions it is messed up by the things that are allowed to happen but your daughter need to understand that in spite of, there are still many great opportunities out there for her dreams to become a reality.
7. You will meet disappointments in life, but you are going to make it.
It is very misleading to make your daughter to believe she will not meet with disappointments in life. Not only that but you create a false sense of security that when shattered is more damaging emotionally and psychologically for her. It is best to help her to understand the reality it but let her know the disappointments are there to make her stronger and more resilient. Give her the reassurance that she has your support.
8. “Respect your elders and those in authority”
The best places to start to show respect to elders and those in authority is to teach your daughter the importance of saying, “please” before she make a request, “thank you” upon receiving something or a gift, and “you’re welcome” which shows great appreciation to the other person. Showing love and respect for elders/others is to teach your daughter to be empathetic.
9. Good manners will take you around the world.
This is such an important value to start instilling in your daughter from a very early age. Life is tough at times and nothing is free or will fall out of the sky just like that and come to her. But a simple “thank you” and “please” will go a very long way in making all the difference in the world.
10. “Speak the truth at all times”
Teach your daughter the value of being honest and speaking the truth at all times even when she stand to lose the friendship of others for sticking to what is right. Show her the importance of not compromising and giving in to lies and deception. Children who are taught to speak the truth are less likely to be secretive
11. “Don’t follow the crowd”
“There is a way that appears to be right, but in the end it leads to death [and destruction] – Proverbs 14:12 NIV
The crowd could be going in a certain direction but that doesn’t mean that it is the right way to go. Encourage your daughter to choose her peers/friends wisely and to help them to identify the positive attributes, ideas, thoughts, values and morals that are in alignment with the word of God and the good that you have already taught her.
12. Pace yourself in life and never make a decision in a hurry
Some of the worse decisions in life are made in a hurry. Many people live with regret as a result of such bad choices. It is your responsibility as a father to guide your daughter through that process of fact finding and decision making.
13. Work hard and success will follow
Your daughter must be taught the importance of working hard and the consequential manner of perseverance and the reward of success that comes with it. Do not reward bad behaviors such as when chores are not done, or homework assignments are not done on time.
14. Peer pressure is a reality but trust your heart
Saying this to your daughter on a consistent basis is helping your daughter to understand that peer pressure is a reality in the world but giving in to doing wrong is not a cool thing to do. Encourage her to be the leader to point others in doing and saying what is right and not a follower to do wrong or engage in inappropriate behaviors.
15. Your worth is not based on your physical appearance
It is very hard on young girls today who are constantly pressured to look a certain way or to be a specific body and bust size or shape to get jobs. It is even harder when the world sees their net worth based squarely on their physical appearance. It is your job however to instill in your daughter that what really matters most is the goodness of her heart [inner beauty], honesty and integrity, her ability to speak truth always and her kindness to others.
16. Your true beauty is from within
What makes a person most beautiful, honorable and desirable is the inner beauty that radiates on the outside to impact, influence and change the world around them. This does not happen overnight and must therefore be cultivated in the child from infancy by your spoken words and actions.
17. The power to choose is in your hands
Your child need to be equipped and taught how to make her own decisions and handle her own responsibilities as she grows older. She will face situations and circumstances for which she will need to make her own judgement call such as which college/university to attend or the career path she should take.
She should be taught good financial management principles on occasions when she is given her allowance how important it is to save some and not spend it all and even teach her about the law of giving. So let her know from a very early age that the power to choose is in her hands.
Was this post helpful? What else would you add to this list of things every daughter need to hear from her father? Share your thoughts in the comment form below this post.