A Voice That Cannot Be Silenced – But Why Does It Hurt So Bad? [Part 2 of 2]

This question was one that I struggled with for years. And not understanding the true nature of my pain or even when I would go through the ‘why me?’ syndrome, I soon began to hate my past. But one day back in 2010 as I was getting dressed for another Sunday morning church worship service, the Holy Spirit ‘confronted’ me! I tried to ‘wrestle’ my way from His arms and from out of it, but He said to me, “we are going to deal with this today.” I recall how I wept uncontrollably to the point of weakness as He began to show me the ‘why’ of every detail in my life – the pain, hurt, rejection, abandonment, abuses, physical beatings and so much more going back as far as infancy, and even to when I was still in my mother’s womb. I was finally delivered that Sunday morning as He showed me my inner self, the greatness and the potential that was on the inside of me. 

As I read through scripture, I believe that it was a similar greatness within your inner self that Jesus alluded to as He spoke these words  in Luke 10:19 to those whom He had appointed to go into every city and place with His word. “Behold, I give unto you power to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy: and nothing shall by any means hurt you.” With that greatness there lies a measure of pain.

• Detached longer with a deep hunger for the Lord

You experience the great magnitude of pain, yet your hunger for the Lord is deep. That is because you have been preserved through many things that others will probably never know of but God knows. You feel that constant desire to be with the Lord as the God of your ministry and calling and to feed from Him in the inner court and the holy of holies. It is here you can really enjoy the experiences of genuine love and acceptance. You walk alone even when with others.

• Foreteller but never a fortune-teller

It is in this special place in God that you are able to share some of the foreknowledge of God with His people and is therefore not only aware of judgement that is to come but also the blessing. Having such a high sensitivity to spiritual things and the ability to pierce flesh and spirit. You hold the full thought and mind of God.

• Daring, challenging and dynamic

Often described as daring, challenging and dynamic in your service unto God. You are special and extraordinarily gifted with wisdom and insight, your pain eventually brings you to a place where you become an articulate communicator, yet having the knowledge of great personal emotional and psychological restraints. You are passionate about the work of God, God’s agenda is your agenda, and you have a holy fear of God – live to please God more than you live to please others.

• Tenacity, boldness and commitment

Because of the opposition that you meet as you engage in hereditary conflicts with Satan and his agents and anti-Christ behaviour, your character is reflective of one who is tenacious, bold and courageous and even more so, committed to God’s purpose. It must be a known fact that once you put your hands to the plough, you do not look back.

• Famous and exalted when dead

History does repeat itself as one realizes that you become most famous and exalted when in death but excommunicated and friendless while alive. In life, you can often be the object of much mud-slinging. You become unquestionable controversial at times as you go by revelation from God and not information. You are known to speak out of a personal and intimate relationship with God and never out of reaction to a situation. While many move towards and follow the crowd, you are moving away to follow the cloud. The source of the pain you experience from being misunderstood as stand-offish, distant and unsociable is the very thing that will lead those who follow you to reach the promise land.

• Inherent weakness

Uniquely gifted with weakness that is comparable to a thorn in the flesh. Let this not be a surprise to you, but it is that thing which often times, it is the hand of God that brings a constant blow to pride and ego so that one do not get too lifted up. It is also that which hammers out those aspects of your character that do not reverberate the character of Jesus.

• Unconventional personality and bizarre experiences and behaviour

You often times wonder why you do not fit in easily like other people, or tend to be over serious with life – it is basically because you have earned your share of the fruit of rejection for the reason that, your thought process, what you feel or even the way those emotions are acted out is not like others. Not only are you misunderstood for that but it is the source of pain of you not understanding it yourself. Eccentric and compelling, you glean for answers in places others never seem to consider, and rather than taking things at face value, you instinctively apply the beaming light scope and the penetrating probe of God’s truth and His word to the meaning of things and their outcomes. You have a high propensity to dreams, visions and uncommon experiences, visitations at nights by angels and even evil spirits. Your dreams are highly predictive (seeing things before they happen), revelatory, insightful in nature and are even hard to forget or dismiss. Here is another afflicting blow that comes, is that you can often communicate these things with little awareness that it might be viewed to others as weird, only to make the root of rejection to grow deeper.

• Self-defensive and self-protective

Again if this does not apply to you, then it is okay. But having been there for years, and received my deliverance, I now share it to help others. Often times, because of ones’ moodiness, you become that receptacle into which is poured or projected everything all the other family members both natural and spiritual members cannot face themselves or even express. Often times than not, you are like the ‘whipping boy,’ or the ‘scapegoat of the family.’ A sense of potential danger in such an environment, often beginning from childhood and your own desire to protect your sphere of influence where it is perceived that no one else is there to protect or defend you, you tend to build up protection skills that are ‘illegal’ and build invisible walls of protection that goes up to hedge you whenever such situations arise.

• Events that are potentially dangerous and life-threatening 

Lastly, you are known to have a history of many brushes with death, trauma and serious life-threatening injuries beginning from your childhood years. The adversary of the soul of man has serious interest in cutting short the destiny of people and ministry, especially those that touches the lives of many others and who is viewed as a threat to the kingdom of darkness.

A New Era’s Perspective – How Should The Church Respond?

My final thoughts – We must first identify and destroy the giants that for months and possibly years that have enslaved our minds, shaped our behaviour, our thinking and then proceed with a deep sense of urgency to heal the lacerations and the brokenness in the body. Holiness and transformation in character are fundamental so that we may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect will of God (Romans 12:2).

Genuine love and acceptance is a welcoming change. We must all arise to the call to nurture those persons whose voices have been silenced whether through oppression, rejection, condemnation, fear and intimidation  and to nurture them with grace, love, compassion and understanding. Remember, they are not better, but just different in the way that God Himself, our Creator has structured them to operate in the gift that He alone can give.

They may act at times as if they have a higher calling on their lives than others but the truth is, they do not. Should they for some reason step out of line into ‘bully pulpit’ and assume more authority than they do, correction can be brought only in the order in which God has  ordained it to be, and it must be brought with compassion, love and humility with an eye to healing and restoration exactly the way God intended it to be. And let us never become satisfied that while we are seeking ways to gain total liberty that we are secretly still drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred for any brother or sister.

It was James who wrote, “Confess your faults one to another, and pray for one another, that ye may be healed. The effectual and fervent prayer of a righteous availeth much.” (James 5:14) It is time for the Body of Christ to return to a place of importunate prayer, a time for travailing to give birth to the solutions and strategies to solve them. It is time to rebuild the trust and to have the kind of love and respect one for another that is so crucial to our advancement. We need each other and we need to be surrounded by the people who are genuine in taking into their hearts the young ones, the fatherless and the motherless, the widows, the hurting, the lost and the dying and to be the watchmen and watch-women for their lives so that we can all celebrate the goodness of humanity together.

In short we are lost without this kind of prayers, protection and support around us. Your past hurts was never to destroy you, rather is was to bring out the true Christlike character and His true Christlike nature in you. As olive oil can only flow from an olive that has gone through the process of much crushing and squeezing, so it is the anointing and the greatness on the inside of you can only become exuberant and flow through when you have gone through the process involved in character building and strengthening.